Sustained by Hatred
by Rei-Yunacat
Summary: Just a little "what if" story. "What if" the events between Hope and Snow went differently in Palumpolum. WARNING: May contain spoilers!
1. Ch1: Sustained by Hatred

_Hate_ was all that flowed through him.

Hate for the man that had taken his _everything_.

Hate for the man that had _ruined_ his life.

Hate was all he knew, and all he could continue with if he wanted to _live_.

The white-haired boy, his bright sea-green eyes lit aflame, continued to plow forward though his destiny seemed to want to limit him. If he was going to die either way, he might as well get the revenge he wanted, the revenge he needed for his soul to move on.

Guided along by a woman of hatred herself, he felt if he continued at her side, he could see his final wish come true. She helped him move forward, even gave him a knife, a tool to keep him safe. But she didn't realize what she'd done. The fire she'd helped build up within the youth grew at a pace quicker than she could imagine.

_Hope_

He should hate his name. He had no hope left for this world. His soul intentions were to get stronger and destroy that which had killed him inside out. It had nothing to do with 'hope'.

And yet, when it came down to it, he was blind. The taller pink-haired woman could see the change in him. She could see the mistakes he was aiming for, and yet she continued to pull him along with her, and in the end, she only helped him gain the strength he needed and feed his inner demons.

Project: _Nora_

The boy gave a name to his vengeance. The name of his mother, but also the name of the enemy's retaliation team; ironic indeed. But that was fine with him. His drive was to right for his mother. The name meant nothing else otherwise.

Moving forward, the woman he had continued to follow kept him safe when she could, and he managed to grow stronger than even he could have imagined. The once shy boy, cowering from the fear of war, was no longer.

Before he knew it, he met the man who had destroyed him. His golden opportunity appeared when he was, reluctantly, handed over to the man's care. "_Lightning!?_" the boy wanted to know why she'd done such a thing. Why had she left him all alone with the monster she knew he intended to destroy?

_Snow_

The name alone sent the boy into a rage, forcing his mind to blur. All he could see was red, anger, and rage. As he was pulled along by this creature of sin, he continued to hold his hand over the knife he believed would help him complete his revenge.

Waiting, painfully waiting. He wanted the grand opportunity to occur, but he had to wait for the right time.

Mindlessly, as they were alone, he questioned the man for his actions, forcing him to reveal that, deep down inside, he wasn't truly the hero he'd been fronting. The man admitted all of his sins, and did his best to apologize for his actions. But Hope wouldn't take that. His heart couldn't take such a simple apology in place for the life of someone he cared so much about.

Blurs of images crossed his mind, images of the past and what had been done. The boy seemed to black out anything that wasn't hatred, anything that wouldn't help him destroy this man. But no matter how much he wanted to, he couldn't bring himself to strike him down.

Even after knowing the kid wanted him dead, Snow attempted to save him. From the attacks of PSICOM and from the hate of the world for l'Cie. Hope didn't understand how such a person, who so easily allowed others to die in front of him, could do such things.

Though he could barely walk from the damage he sustained, he made sure to carry the boy, unconscious from the long fall, as far away as he could to safety. As the boy awoke, he even told him he could take his revenge and gave him a free opportunity.

...but Hope couldn't do it.

Even staring at the glimmer of the knife that was handed to him, seeing his own reflection, and knowing from it what must be done, he couldn't bring himself to do it. Was it because he couldn't take a life? Or because he didn't want to be haunted by the sin of death himself? He wasn't sure anymore.

"I'm sorry."

Those simple words stopped him from making the biggest mistake of his life.

...or did it?

Opening his eyes, Hope looked down at the blood-covered remain of the once proclaimed hero. With his eyes shut, he had managed to shove the three inch blade into the back of the man's neck three or five times over, causing a large gash to form. The man fell to the ground, the boy still on his back.

"H-Hope...?" he let out with his faint breath. The young green-eyed boy stood up so quickly he became dizzy. His hatred had left him, leaving his mind blank. This man before him was dying, what now? Would this really make up for what had been taken from his heart?

The boy, shaken again with fear, stepped backwards, tripping over his own feet. His grip let go of the knife Lightning had lent to him. His eyes were wild with despair. This man was going to die for his mother's death. That's what he wanted, right? Why did it bother him?

"Heh...you're..just full of surprises..." the man's shaky voice was still full of his usual cheer, though with not so much energy. "I guess this hero..goes down today..." Snow's expression held a slight smile. His bright blue eyes found the boy, and he opened his mouth to speak once more. "Say goodbye..to Light..and Serah..for me...will ya?" he spoke between short gasps of air.

"..._Serah_..."

Hope's eyes filled with tears. What had he done? Sure this man had been responsible for his mother's death, but he just took the life of someone's love. He had fallen into a state worse than becoming Cie'th; he had become a murderer.

What would he tell Lightning? The question crossed his mind and built a weight over his heart.

As Snow's life faded from him, an empty shell was left behind on the sidewalk. While Hope stared down at the trail of blood on the ground, the man's body rose up. In a flash of white-light, the body of the blond transformed--

--to crystal.

He not only died to this boy, but also, he hadn't completed his Focus. Then why did he become crystal? Hope stood, nearly losing his balance. He took a step forward and looked down at the sleeping crystaline form of the once self-proclaimed hero, a look of confusion mixed into his expression.

The reason Snow had become crystal instead of a Cie'th or simply dying, is because he helped keep Hope safe as was tasked of him by Lightning. The Fal'Cie saw it fitting to allow for him to live forever rather than die, since he had helped further their personal goals.

Ultimately, Hope had accomplished his revenge, and yet, he had also failed. The boy's mind was full of mixed emotions, ranging heavily from fear and despair. Reaching down to the ground, he picked up the knife once more. Staring into his gleaming, red reflection, all he could see was the monster he had become.

Unable to bear what he'd done, he shakily held the bloodied weapon to his neck, prepared to end it all in one quick swipe. At least then he'd be able to see his mother again. He'd be able to hear her voice again. He'd be able to go back to how it was before all of this had happened.

But that's running away, and Hope knew it.

Angrily, he threw the blade across the ground, allowing it to skid several feet away. His anger, now directed at himself, continued to drive him as his legs carried him off down the streets of his home city of Palumpolum.


	2. Ch2: Drowned by Despair

_Oh, I forgot to add a little notice with the first part, so I'll just do it here. I __**don't**__ own SE or any of its characters. This is solely fan-made~_

_Also, I would like to thank __**everyone**__ who commented on the first part. I hadn't really planned on adding any more to this, but I feel kinda inspired to, so I guess I will!_

_Before I start, I wanna thank __**XxXChiharu-Chan-1000-SpringsXx**__ for being cool, talking me into writing in the first place, and inspiring me to write in general. (If you don't know her, go check out her stuff too, its awesome!)_

_Post writing: I don't know If I want to continue with this story after this, because that would mean rewriting the entire game from this changed event. Who knows, though. Depends on how I feel, and what else I feel like changing, if anything._

_Oh and __**comments**__ are all read, __**loved**__, and appreciated! :3 (If you see mistakes, please let me know!)_

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A bright flash of light caught the attention of a pair of women. As they ran through the streets, worried for the safety of their friends, they looked to each other, their worries only growing heavier the closer they got to the source.

"I have..a bad feeling..." the tall pink-haired woman said as she sprinted across the pavement.

Nearing a turn, from the corner of her eyes, she thought she saw a small white-haired boy disappear into the distance of the city. Turning her gaze, she noticed a large crystal. The closer she got to it, the more she recognized of it.

Her worst fears had become true.

Encased in crystalline sleep, the body of Snow rested not far from the boy's home. Her legs started to shake, seeing the man's form already in one of her two possible fates. "_Not again..._" the ex-soldier thought, remembering what had happened to her sister in the Vestige.

Slumping down to her knees, defeatedly, a look of growing despair formed in her eyes. Realization hit her: Where was Hope? Looking around for any hints of the boy, she found a familiar-looking object a slight distance from her, glimmering in the late sun.

As Lightning rose to stand, the blue-garbed woman that had followed her spoke up. "A shame, really." she said, not knowing what had went on in the background. "I'll call the Cavalry to come pick 'im up."

"Hope..."

That's all that escaped the distraught woman's lips as she mindlessly walked toward the gleaming object just a few feet away. Kneeling on one leg, she reached down and gathered it up, examining it. There was still traces of blood on the blade that ran down into the handle, and from how it looked, it had been used to inflict a deep wound.

_"Hope...you didn't..."_

She wanted to believe the youth hadn't committed such an act. She wanted to believe the boy couldn't have done something like this. She wanted to believe he wasn't strong enough to go through with it.

But the truth was, _he had_.

Closing the knife and placing it in her pocket, she stood up slowly, staggering slightly in her shock and disbelief. Turning around, ice blue eyes of despair met a confused face. "Hm? Find something?" the raven-haired woman asked, completely confused now.

"It's..all my fault..." Lightning spoke slowly. She believed this because she had made Hope stronger. But this isn't want she intended. She just wanted the boy to keep going, not commit any acts he would sooner regret.

"Eh.. Don't blame yourself." the tanned woman spoke.

"Fang..."

"No. Look, it's ok." she said, pointing at the crystallized would-be-hero. "He's just going to sleep for a while." As soon as that was said, a question the ex-soldier should have thought of finally hit her. Why did he turn to crystal? From the look on the pink-haired woman's face, Fang expected her next question. "I don't know for sure, but the Fal'Cie probably have their reasons."

Accepting that response, Lightning lowered her head. "So does this mean..he isn't..."

"Correct."

"And Serah..?"

"Her either."

So that's what Snow had meant. He said he knew a way to bring Serah back, but Lightning was too busy looking at him as if he were a stupid and foolish man to realize what he was saying was true.

At that moment, she felt completely stupid. Why hadn't she listened? Snow had listened to and believed every bit of Serah's words and problems. Why did it take her this long? "I'm sorry..." she said, directing her words to Snow. "...for everything." Even though he probably couldn't hear her, she wanted to get it out.

"The Cavalry should be here anytime now." the raven woman said, crossing her arms.

"I'll..be right back." Lightning said, having decided to go look for Hope.

The blue-garbed woman figured this, noticing the youth was nowhere to be found. Sitting on the ground, she stared up to her. "Good luck." she offered.

Lightning, with a nod, turned to run off back into the city.

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Plowing through the streets, stomping any PSICOM soldiers she happened across, a flood of worry and despair drove the pink-haired woman forward. Even though Hope had readily went through with such an attempt, she still worried for the boy. If he was out in the city alone, she worried if he may be in trouble.

And she was right.

Looking up to a rooftop, the boy was just barely holding his own against a large, red flying creature. Light didn't hesitate. She jumped and climbed up the building as fast as she could manage, arriving at the boy's side. From the look in his eyes, he was scared, but something about him seemed different. He looked nearly ready to resign. "Don't give up." she said quickly, firing her gun-blade at the creature, causing it to fall back.

"You can do this! I know you can!"

The woman he had looked up to was there for him. Had she realized what he'd done? It seemed so, as she'd went backwards to try to find him. _"Am I even worth saving?"_ he thought, his energy to fight sapped from him.

Lightning shot down the creature, attempting to force it out of the air. Nothing she did seemed to hurt it--at least not very much. The woman was trying hard to fight the creature off, trying to protect this child she had barely gotten to know.

"It's not over, Hope!" she called back to him as she shot a few more rounds into one of the monster's wings, attempting to disable it. "Snow is--" she started, but was cut off by an attack that sent her flying across concrete. Hitting her head, she fell unconscious, unable to finish what she had tried to say.

The boy became curious, but he was also worried. She had helped him out so much, and now she was down; easy prey to the enemy. He didn't care at this point if he happened to perish, but he wouldn't let this woman go down with him, not after all she'd done for him.

Directing his hatred toward the enemy, his anger built up inside, and the l'Cie mark on his arm lit with a yellow-ish color. "You're not going to hurt her!!" Instantly a flash of thunder--no, thundaga--crashed down upon the enemy, repeatedly beating at it till it fell over, defeatedly disappearing.

After the sudden attack and victory, the boy fell to his knees by the unconscious woman.

Opening her eyes slowly, the ex-soldier looked up to see nothing but sea-green pupils staring down at her. A look of worry was washed over the boy's expression. "Hope...?" Funny, she had come there to rescue him, and he had actually saved her.

Quickly pushing herself to sit up, she looked down upon the youth. "Are you--"

"--I'm fine!" he said quickly, turning his head away.

This aggravated the pink haired woman. Reaching a hand up, she grabbed the boy's chin and forced him to look at her. "It's not too late!" she yelled at him. "You aren't Cie'th yet! There's still hope!"

"No there isn't!" the boy replied, grabbing her wrist and pulling it away from his face.

"Yes there is! For us, for Serah, and for Snow!"

"No, they're all dead, and we're going to die too!"

"Serah and Snow are NOT dead!"

"Then what are they? _Asleep_!?"

"Exactly!"

The white-haired boy looked up, a confused look on his face now. _Asleep_? How silly. It was clear they'd never wake up again. That was, to him, no different from death. "I was told l'Cie who turned to crystal would one day wake up again."

"Who said--"?

"The woman who was with Snow earlier. She said she woke up. Her and...Vanille."

Thoughts crossed his mind. Those two had turned to crystal for completing their Focus before. Maybe it wasn't so impossible, that is, if the story is true. It was hard to say for sure, but now, he really wanted to believe it. If it was true, then that meant that he hadn't killed Snow. There was, then, nothing to regret.

His mind's questions, then, branched out. The blue-clothed woman and Vanille had already been l'Cie and had completed a Focus before. What did they do? And how? This is the first time anyone had been branded by Fal'Cie on Cocoon. At least to his knowledge. Were they from Pulse? That seemed a strange idea, but now, it seemed like there was nothing that was impossible anymore.

Seeing the boy's mind wander, Lightning moved to stand and offered a hand down to help the boy up. "Let's go see your father. That's why we came here, right?"

Hope snapped out of his questioning daze as Lightning spoke. Looking up to her, he reached a hand out to accept her invitation. After standing up, he turned away from her, his eyes filling with tears as he was preparing what he wanted to say. The taller woman stared at him confusedly wondering why he was acting that way. "I'm sorry. Project Nora..is over..." he said simply.

The pink-haired woman felt an overwhelming sadness fill her. The boy's rage and hatred seemed to have died down now; if only it had sooner. Reaching her arms around the boy's shoulders, she quickly gave him a hug. With that alone, without words, she hoped he'd understand what she was saying with it. _"Everything will be alright..."_

Releasing her hold, she turned and started climbing down a ladder on the side of the building. Hope took a moment to clear his face before following the woman down.

A renewed feeling had started through him. He wanted to survive until the day Snow woke up so he could apologize to him for what he'd done. He wanted to see the man wake up so that he could be back with his love and his friends.

Taking the life of someone else didn't justify his mother's death, and he fully realized that now.


End file.
